Rock, paper, scissors

Lately, I've been under pressure at work. Some of this pressure is caused by people who themselves are under pressure and take out their frustration on me.

I believe this sort of trickle-down unkindness is a universal thing. Everyone who works experiences this at some point. I'm sorry if this sounds jaded.

But personally, I refuse to perpetuate the cycle. I do my darnedest to keep my cool. Don't get defensive. Don't blame others. Focus on solutions and use words that uplift rather than tear down.

I always ask myself, "If someone leaked the transcript of this interaction, would my conduct be irreproachable? Would my loved ones feel proud of how I reacted?"

I like how the light hits my curtains.

I'm pushing forty. Technically middle-aged. I'm not naïve. I know anger is a powerful motivator. Anger can bring about change, even necessary change, like nothing else can. Maybe this is what the people who are angry with me think, that by being angry with me, they can spur me to become more competent.

But I don't feel that way. I think anger is best directed at systems, not individuals. I've never solved—really solved—issues with people through anger. Quite the contrary. Some of my deepest regrets come from times when I failed to control my temper.

Here's what I believe. Remember when we were kids and we'd play rock, paper, scissors, but add a random fourth element that always beat everything? I think mine was the t-rex. That's what kindness is to me. Yes, anger is useful, it can get stuff done, but it can't beat kindness.

Kindness always wins.